Mark Groves is a relationship and communication coach. We've previously discussed How To Be A Man, and wanted to dive in to the concept of "Holding Space". This is often regarded as something that is done in romantic relationships, where one partner sits with another while they are having an emotional process. However, it is not limited to romantic relationships. It is needed in any relationship that involves emotional vulnerability.
We outline our long definition of holding space, and the steps you can take to learn how to do it.
On this episode we cover:
Resistance to getting feedback from your partner.
What is Holding Space: Presence, compassion, open-ness.
Consent - the importance of acknowledging that both people are ready and willing.
Boundaries - saying "no" when you're not able to hold space.
Step 1- check in with yourself, see if you're ready and able
Men's ability to connect to their own emotions
How to find out what you're not good at
The best way to learn how to connect to your emotions
The art of separating your feelings from your partner's
Step 2- Prepare your inner space and open your heart
Heart opening meditation. Not that hard.
Self talk to help yourself be ready for space holding
Bypassing and our tendency to look for shortcuts
The quickest way through an emotion: to lean in to it.
How to build trust: Rigorous honesty and personal boundaries.
Step 3- Accept the role, or say “no” and set a boundary
Step 4- Hold that space
Step 5- Validate, Reflect
The results of successful space holding - closeness and ego dissolution